What are your impressions from the first round of guys?

1. David Hernandez: He can sing, just not last night. He started out like he intended to kick some ass, then saw all those bright lights & eyes staring back & his nerves ate through him like Alien blood. First song, first night, first bomb.

2. Chikeze: I liked him more than the judges did. A very smooth performance. Unfortunately, too smooth.

3. David Cook: Apparently the judges heard it the way it SHOULD have been sung. He added about 15% punk inflection to the song when it should have been pushed to 100% - then & only then would such a sickly sweet song have enough sardonic flavor to be labeled ‘current’.

4. Jason Yeager: More crappy song choices, & a forgettable performance. Am I wrong to have an innate distrust for people who have that little patch of discolored hair?

5. RobbieCarrico: Above average vocal. He sounds just like Triumph. Its a good thing.

6. David Archuleta: The judges loved him but Im lukewarm at best. He can sing, but he doesnt inflect. Songs heavy on the lyrics like last night do him an injustice - less words equal better performance for him. His mannerisms after the song reminded me of the shy little vulture from Looney Tunes. “Im bringing home a baby bumblebee...”

7. Danny Noriega: ANOTHER crappy song for the singer. How are you supposed to make Jailhouse Rock current? Terrible performance, but I actually like him more afterward. Waiting to hear these kids sing other songs...

8. Luke Menard: A boring song, but I think he hit his target for that kind of music. Which Paula nailed - he sounds just like Kenny Loggins (singing Jim Croche). The judges were slightly harder than I wouldve been, but still it wasnt a great performance.

9. Colton Berry: Crappy song, crappy performance. Id put him in last at this point.

10. Garrett Haley: Lief Garretts lovechild - hes got a great voice for the RIGHT SONG, which wasnt. Agreed, he didnt do anything with the song. I still like him & am eager to hear him sing something else. Can anyone tell me WTF is with so many of these kids adopting faint English accents??? Hes from IDAHO for frikks sake!

11. Jason Castro: Ladies & gentlemen, we have a ringer! First time weve heard him, & I thought he outdid everyone else by a mile. A great smile, & an easy effortless way about his performance. It mightve been the lights, but I swear I saw rainbows shooting out of his ass. He sounded great at least until he stopped singing, when every three seconds an expression came over him like he’s thinking “Whoa. Wow. This is... cool. Trippy!”

12. Michael Johns: I did not like him as much as the judges. The first half of the song was basically a shameless Morrison imitation. Voice, mannerisms, the way he held the mike. Toward the end he finally changed to his own voice, which is much more along the lines of Foreigner than Doors, & it sounded decent. By then it was too late.